been awhile

Well, well, well. It's been quite a while since I last dived into the ole' bloggin' hole. Sorry to my legions of adoring fans who read this blog on a regular basis (and by legion I mean one, possibly two, people). My excuse - I've been busy. That's right, busy. Busy teaching. Busy moving. Busy house hunting. Busy getting everything ready for the big day when I start my doctoral program at UF. So there. If you don't like it, here are some other possible explanations for my absence:

1. I was hunting for Weapons of Mass Destruction.
2. I was negotiating a peace treaty between East Coast and West Coast rappers.
3. I was held powerless by the hypnotic pull of the never ending Trading Spaces marathon that is The Learning Channel.
4. Two Words: Mutant Black Dicks Gophers.
5. Spent weeks strategizing with Gary Coleman on new California Gubernatorial Race campaign slogan: What You Talkin' Bout, California?
6. Stuck on crapper with no toilet paper.
7. Locked in my basement attempting to create a robotic mate that I can teach about this human emotion called "love".
8. Fascinated for a month by the Amazing New Swiffer.
9. Busy drawing up elaborate plans for new Octogenarian Friendly Cadillac. Solution: no wheels.
10. Took 3 weeks off to explain the mysteries of bathing to visiting Alabama tourists.
11. Lost in jungle for days following deceptive, rainbow beaked Toucan spouting wild claims about his all knowing probiscis.
12. Spent 10 days waiting in line for tickets for advance screening of "Gigli".

I have a week before I report for duty at UF. Expect more blogging goodness soon.